I am digressing a bit from the topic that I started in previous posts but will get back to it, I promise! As of late something else has been coming to my attention a lot. The topic of what people say (or do not say) when someone is in the depths of grief has reared its head multiple times. I’ve encountered it in conversations with those who have recently lost loved ones as well as other blogs, articles, and the like. Since, it’s been swirling around in my head bringing me here. So, for what it’s worth, this is what I take it from it all.
WHAT SHOULD I SAY? We all know that for most of us it can be uncomfortable dealing with grief and tears. We don’t want to say the wrong thing and I’ve touched on this before. However, it’s unacceptable to say nothing. You can’t pretend it just didn’t happen by walking by or trying to go on with business as if you don’t know. They know you know. Your words won’t suddenly make them remember that their loved one is gone. If your moment of kindness brings a few tears, it’s OKAY! Tears are human and they were going to cry them at some point anyway. Share them with them and move forward. Be human. Be kind.
Say….”I am so very sorry”
Say….”I am here, I can listen”
Say…”I am so sorry for your pain”
If you knew the person who died, share a remembrance. This is a wonderful way to bring smiles with tears.
Say… SOMETHING.
A lot of people seem to have an issue with “I’m sorry for your loss.” Personally, I don’t have a problem with it. I suppose it can seem generic and trite, but it is indeed a loss and if it comes from a kind place it’s certainly better than saying nothing at all.
That’s it. In a nutshell, don’t ignore it, ever. Say something – you are human, they are human. You will find common ground. Be kind. It’s easier than you think. You will walk away better for it.
