The Light #8

Tragic events shake our core, often bringing us to question many things. We ask, we reevaluate the importance and meaning of our lives. Sometimes, our faith is shattered and rebuilt in a different way. Personally, it is my belief that can be a positive thing, albeit painful while on the road. Tragic losses – really tragic losses will level you to that place.

Along that path, if you are a believer in God or a person of faith, you would not be human to not ask the question, “why?” Some things in life make no sense. This began for me in the halls of St Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital many years ago as I sat and realized that every parent was praying, hundreds of them. Every family was afraid. Was God listening? It occurred to me at that point that, while He surely had to be, a merciful God was not a puppet master saying, “yes, yes, no, yes” to each parent pleading that their child might survive. There simply had to be more to it.

So, you could become a non believer. That would be easy to do given how many people we knew who lost their innocent children. You could say, “God is good, my child survived.” I believe in the end, it is your own road to follow and that you can only know when you KNOW.

In my own search for answers, and in the loss of a child years later, I kept looking and found gifts I didn’t expect and turns of events that were surprises. One of them has been a gift of “hearing” of sorts. Information can be downloaded to me when I am still that does not come from my own mind. It’s easy to tell the difference because it is very fast and the words are coming in on top of my own thoughts – like two thought streams. There are no pauses, no blips, just a stream of words being told to me. It’s not often. It’s eloquent and smarter than I am.

Once such event happened in February of 2019 and I have been being reminded over and over recently to relay it as my mind ponders another tragic loss in my own family.

2/22/2019-

I awoke early in the morning and reached out to talk to God. I have found that harder to do recently as my perspective of God, the one I grew up with has changed, is changing…. As I have become more spiritual than religious, I feel a closeness to a team of beings who support me, who support us from the other side (for they have shown themselves to me – guides, angels, etc..) It’s been easy to believe in them and in souls that can reach out to us. In all that I have seen and heard and read from others however, there is honestly little talk of a “God” like figure – looking and acting in a role of Father, waiting for us when we die. I’ve mourned that a little and have been searching for that answer, trying to find peace and what lies as truth in my own soul. I still believe, just not precisely in the exact way I always did.

So, this morning, I asked again. Immediately, I felt a presence. A smiling, loving presence come over me. With it was more peace that I could ever explain in words and with it, an answer. A channeled (for lack of a better term) answer was given to me. I found it beautiful and fitting to everything that I had been learning…

I was told that we are all parts of God. Tiny parts of a great beautiful light. A light so large, majestic and bright that we could never look upon it as a whole. If we were able to look down upon the fragments of light, we would see this beautiful kaleidoscope created. Lights of different shapes and colors – all in constant motion and varying hues and brightness. Some lights flicker while others beam brightly. Some seem to fade now and again, only to be reignited by nearby lights offering a spark from their own . – The light is love, the light is God and we are all part of that whole beating brilliant explosion which gave off these shards. -These shards ignite our souls.

I do not know who delivered it. There was no introduction. It came however with peace, kindness and a great deal of love. I’m just the messenger.